Did you know that as humans, we are wired for connection? We are termed as ‘social animals’ for a reason: we need social connections to survive and prosper. We thrive on those human bonds! These claims are supported by research. Social support and connectedness are linked to positive mental health outcomes, such as growth and resilience in the face of trauma.
Given the hustle and bustle of life, we often fail to recognise what we are feeling. We may even ignore these feelings, especially if it is uncomfortable. Ignoring loneliness only makes it grow, leading to more isolation.

Wondering if you’re feeling lonely? Listed below are some signs of loneliness. Check all those that apply:
My self-doubt has increased.
I have been feeling more anxious and restless lately.
I have been scrolling a lot on Instagram/YouTube.
I lack companions around me.
I don’t feel included with people.
I feel like I have nobody to turn to when I feel happy or sad.
I feel unwanted.
I don’t like being alone.
No one really understands me.
I don’t feel close to anybody.
I have stopped going out as much as I used to.
I don’t have anything in common with the people around me.
I have problems communicating and sharing with others.
I fantasise a lot about having someone I can share everything with.

*Please note that this is not a standardised self-report measure.

If you have checked more statements than not, you may be experiencing loneliness.
Essentially, loneliness is an unwelcome feeling of a loss of companionship. Often, we feel that our relationships with people around us don’t fulfil our needs. It is a personal experience, and loneliness can mean and feel different things to different people. Loneliness doesn’t care about whether you are around people or away from them—it cares about how you feel about those connections.
As an emotion, loneliness is incredibly painful. It takes a toll on us in many ways.

1. Psychologically, it feels a lot like being stuck in a rut. Feelings of loneliness resemble depression symptoms. One feels increasingly unhappy, hopeless, and helpless about the situation they are in. People also report increased feelings of anxiety.
2. Biologically, loneliness affects our sleep (you may find yourself sleeping a lot or sleeping extremely less), and appetite.
3. Emotionally, you may notice a lot of mood swings. Feelings of rejection, anger, numbness, and sadness are increasingly common.
4. Behaviourally, you may withdraw from your normal activities and feel apathetic towards them. E.g.: not wanting to exercise or work because you don’t feel like it.

There are many causes of loneliness. Some people are more prone to feelings of loneliness than others. Below are some risk factors that affect loneliness. Check all those that apply:

Someone close to me has passed away.
I live alone.
I have started a new job.
I have started going to a new school/college.
I have issues with finances.
People don’t understand my culture/religion.
I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
I don’t get along with my family.
My disability limits my social interactions.
I have recently had a breakup.
I have been bullied in the past.
I am a primary caregiver to a sick loved one.
My children have recently left home.
I have recently gotten married.
I have just given birth.
I have had to move away from my house.
I have moved to a different country.
I have recently lost my job.

Even if one of the above-mentioned factors applies to you, you may likely face loneliness more than your counterparts.

Loneliness is a global issue and is linked to the surging mental health crisis. Apart from the above-mentioned causes of loneliness, social media also plays an important role.
Have you ever found yourself scrolling through your social media feed and felt… inadequate? It’s what experts call ‘downward comparison.’

We tend to experience FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) when we compare our social relationships with the people we follow. This leads to an impact on our self-esteem as we start feeling that there is something wrong with us because of which we don’t have such relationships.

This becomes all about the numbers. We often feel that the more friends, the better and we start focusing on the ‘quantity’ of friendships, forgetting about the quality of those friendships.
When these feelings creep in, we often feel that there is no point in putting in the effort to maintain such relationships.

However, loneliness is our body’s way of saying, “Hey! I am feeling a little alone. We need to start feeling more connected!” As mentioned before, we are social animals, essentially wired for it. We all wish to maintain strong and stable social relationships.

We want to share our problems and laugh when we’re having a good time with the people around us. Social relationships help us know more about ourselves and other people as well.
It is good news that no phase lasts forever. There are many strategies we can use to combat our loneliness. The next article talks about effective strategies to combat the feelings of loneliness.