“I don’t like the word ‘depression’; I prefer to refer to that state as the ‘inside world’ and the ‘outside world.’ This way, it makes me aware of the reality. Sometimes, I become quiet and feel like my entire world is falling apart. I experience this huge void and heaviness in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I feel like I have to fight for my life to win against this strong, overwhelming world. A simple conversation with me during such phase makes everything intimidating, making me feel like I’m a loser or a nobody.

Over the years, I’ve realized the importance of writing down my feelings to understand and differentiate between the ‘inside world’ and the ‘outside world.’ That’s when I come to the realization that it’s all in my head, which gives me a reality check. However, sometimes, even after this realization, it stays with me, and I have to continue fighting it, even when I know it’s not real, and that life is beautiful. I’m surrounded by safe people who would not harm me.

It’s interesting how, when the ice finally breaks after endless battles within me, and I emerge from that feeling of insecurity or anxiety, everything and everyone seems normal.

If I ever meet someone who’s dealing with the same ‘inside world’ as me, I would love to tell them that they aren’t alone in this. At some point in life, everyone goes through this. It’s about how you take it, how you understand that the ‘inside world’ needs you, and only you can understand and feel it. Writing it down, going for a simple walk, or even doing what you like can make such a difference in the pain you go through. It’s about how mindfully you take care of yourself.”